Shades of Grey...

So I had a relatively uneventful spring break. I loved it. I slept in, did a little algebra, worked a lot less than I needed to, and cleaned my room. I relaxed a lot and took the time to think things through.

So today is the first day back, and I realized that I miss going to school. As much as I say that I'm ready to graduate, I'm gonna miss the smell, the atmosphere of a college classroom. I can't explain what exactly the 'atmosphere' is, but I love it.



On another note...



One of my best friends left for Iraq today. God bless him. But before he left, he told me some very .... umm.... disturbing(?) news. He informed me that my twice ex- boyfriend, Jim*, still likes me. Until recently, I had kinda had a thing for his roommate, Dwight. This makes for one big messy... Triangle? Its a big mess. (sorry, I'm at a lack of words today.) It makes me question my feelings for both boys. I keep thinking about the reasons why my relationship with Jim failed the first two times. I'm not exactly sure what happened the first time. That was four years ago. But recently, we ended it because he's not ready for committment. He doesn't make time for anything other than school. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready for anything yet, either. I don't plan on having anything really serious until after I graduate. But my friend's co-worker, Ryan, made an interesting point. He says I should never settle for anything less than I deserve. He said that if Jim can't make time for a pretty, sweet girl like me, then he doesn't deserve me. And mostly, I believe him. But this is a sticky situation. I don't think, when it comes to matters of the heart, that there is a clear, black and white answer. Everything is, after all, just shades of grey...



*Names have been changed to protect the innoc...err.. the guilty parties. In fact, the names were changed to characters from "The Office." :)



--C

If I Were a Radio...

I would play these songs. My favorites.


They include but are not limited to::

• Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Falling Down by Atreyu. I love rocking out to this song on my way to school every morning. No kidding. There hasn't been a day this semester that I haven't listened to it.
• Baby Britain- I'm not sure who its by, but Bayside did an amazing cover. If I ever become a musician, this will be on my first album.
• Free Falling - I love John Mayer's accoustic version. Its a timeless song.
• Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer because this is exactly how I feel.

• Montauk by Bayside - I swear, this song was written about me. It got me through some really hard times.

• Wouldn't it Be Nice? by the Beach Boys - ... ahh. The Beach Boys...

• Fix you by Coldplay - I really love almost everything Coldplay has done. But there's something about the music and the sound of his voice that makes me love this song. I never grow tired of it.

• The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson - This was from Michael's good days. Did you know this song was number one on the day I was born? Sure was.

• Champagne Supernova by Oasis - "Someday you will find me, Caught beneath the landslide..."

I'm a sucker for quotes and since I finished reading P&P, I thought I'd share my favs...

"I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow." --Mr. Darcy

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

"What are men to rocks and mountains?" --Elizabeth (not Mary, as the movie portrays)

But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she had hardly a good fortune in her face, that he befan to find it was rendered uncommonly intellegant by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. ... In spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of fashionable world, he was caught by their playfulness.

"If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever." --Mr. Darcy

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." --Mr. Darcy on falling in love with Elizabeth Bennet.

Lately...

I've been slacking on the writing thing. Truthfully, I've picked up another hobby. Having a part time job and being a full-time student isn't enough for me (and it is QUITE time consuming). Oh, no! So I set out to do something that I've been neglecting as well. I started reading again. Don't get me wrong, I read all the time. But I don't think textbooks, Cosmo, recipe books and Twilight really count. I love Twilight. Its SUCH a good story, but I need something that stimulates my crainium. haha. So last week I started reading Pride and Prejudice for the billionthhhhhhh time. It really is the original romance novel. Speaking of such, I read "Dark Prince" the other day. Its the first book in the Dark series, Vampire (ahem, excuse me. Carpathian) romance novels. Its a little unrealistic, but do you really expect them to be?
So I made a list of books I want to read. I actually bought a few of them. When I have my own house, I'll have a library: one room filled with books and a nice leather couch when I can sit and read all day long. Its nice to dream anyway. Well the list is full of classics (sigh) and some more contemporary authors. Its got everything from Jane Austen, of course, to Gregory Maguire. After I finish P&P, I plan on reading Dark Desire, book #2 from the Dark Series. Then I'll move on to Persuasion, Emma, and even some Mary Higgins Clark. I'll let ya know how it goes. For now, Adieu.
--C