It's not so easy getting back into the ring, especially with the one that knocked you out in the first place.

I just saw a cop giving a ticket to a guy parked in a handicapped spot. Of course, he didn't have any tags. People should quit being so lazy and leave the spaces for people who actually need them. Just thought I would put that out there.

....

Flashback to 2005. It was a year of GREAT music. But, for one girl, it was a year of love...

February 2005. She was an awkward mess of a barely seventeen year old girl. There was once boy that occupied her thoughts. She has known him forever, and loved him even longer. She had high expectations as she walked through the cascade of crete paper. If there was ever magic at a high school dance, it was here. Anticipation and excitement curled in her stomach as she joined her friends. Their friends.
They danced all night, always flirting. He even did a silly chair-dance that was so ridiculus, she still giggles about it. And at the end of the night, with Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" blaring through the speakers, they slowly revolved in a small circle. After singing "Lying close to you feeling your heart beating, and I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing," he leaned his head down and gently pressed his lips to hers. It was the prefect ending to a great night, and I'll remember in for the rest of my life.

I don't automatically think of that song with I think about great music. When I think of happier times, it's one of the first to pop into my head. When I hear that song, my mind wanders back to that night, an age of innocence, when dreams really did come true...

As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone. --Lucas Scott (One Tree Hill)

"Don't resist me, Mama. It's BOOGIE TIME!"

Today, I was driving down the road, trying not to think. So, of course, I was thinking. For the first time in a while, I was silent. I just listened to the song that was playing (which was the accoustic version of "Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event. Amazing) and thought about what the music was telling me. I let the notes swarm around my head.

Music has the power to make you cry or jump for joy, lift you up or tear you down, make or break you. But do people know what it means to me? Sure, my best friends know how neccessary it is to my sanity, but what about the average Joe-Schmoe? I'm not too sure.

A friend of mine (let's call her Sally) once told me that I have awesome taste in music. She said that I always find the most obscure bands with the most amazing songs.

So, for the blogging world, I'm going to educate you in music. (I'm not saying your music is crappy, I SWEAR. But I wanna show you what I like.) I'm going to introduce you to a song and tell you my feelings about it. I want people to know what it means to me. But mostly, I want people to figure out what it means to them.

Day #1

Taylor Swift. I like almost anything by her. I was talking with a co-worker the other day. She was saying that she didn't know why everyone likes her and that Ms. Swift isn't that good of a singer. I informed her that it wasn't about her singing ability; its about the catching songs. And most everyone can relate to them. We've all broken up with a crappy boy/girlfriend. We've fallen for the one that looks right through us. But mostly, she's a very down-to-earth person. She doesn't act like all the other stars that refuse to talk to fans. She stays after her shows just to sign autographs. My mom was telling me about a time when she bought pizza for all her fans. That's why people like her. It has nothing to do with her singing ability. It has everything to do with lyrics like these:

"Wake up and smell the break-up, fix my heart, put on my make-up, another mess I
didn't plan"

Being a Writer..

"Being a writer is one of the most masochistic endeavors. I love to hate it." -John Mayer.





I'm in one of those in-between places. I have lots of ideas and plenty of rough drafts. But that's it; they're very rough. Raw. Its almost embarrassing.


I need to do some editing. Rewriting. Thinking.


But I don't have time for that. So I'm giving you some of my favorite quotes. :)





"It taught me to hope as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before." --Mr. Darcy





"I don't wanna go to LA anymore, Get lost on the boulevard at night without your voice to tell me 'I love you. Take a right.' The ten and two is a lonely sight." --John Mayer. I'll give you ten points if you can tell me the meaning of the last line. Oh, and by the way, the name of the song is "In Your Atmosphere."





"My daily goal is to make a difference, no matter how small." --Me.

A desk, some letters, and a Christian Science handbook.

For the past few months, I've been searching for a desk. I've looked EVERYWHERE, but I can't find one that I like, within my budget. About 10 or so years ago, we acquired my grandma's sewing machine when she passed away. Its one of those that is built into a desk, and you can fold it up. Its been in my sisters' room for a while and they no longer have room for it. My mom told me that I could have it if I cleaned it out. So that's what I did tonight. I had planned on taking a break from the genealogy thing and just cleaning my room and packing for our mini-vacation.

But no.

I found the usual things you'd find with a sewing machine: needles, thread, material, and patterns.

But I also found some unusual stuff, letters, pictures, pieces of my Uncle Gary's Army uniform, and even a baby brush. I'm trying to read the letters, but they're a bit difficult to make out.

I did find a letter adressed to my great-grandparents, Lawrence and Gladys Dukeshire. It was postmarked on Dec 2 of 1976 from Woodland, California. 13 cent stamp. no lie. At this time, they were living in AR to be closer to their children and grandchildren. Eva and Stewart wrote, "You seem so far away! We think about you often and know you must be very happy there close to Laura & family. We know the feeling as we are glad to be near Marjorie and Marilyn.... No need to tell you the grandchildren are growing up fast because you can see yours growing also!" At the time, my dad was thirteen years old. He really loved seeing all this stuff.

I found a warranty card for a Polariod SX-70 camera. It was really popular, though expensive, in the 1970's. For more info//pictures.

There are a lot of things from the Christian Science Church, including several pages of notes my grandmother wrote.

I also found a picture taken on Jan 13, 1963 of Laura and Ed Burchfield. (That would be my grandparents.) It was my dad's second birthday. Dad says it was in their home in Sacramento. My grandma looks just like my Aunt Julie. And my grandpa, looks just like my Uncle Craig. That's who I thought it looked like at first, until I saw the date on the back.

One Step Closer.

Genealogy.

I've been trying to find out more about my paternal grandmother, Laura Arlene Burchfield. Her maiden name was Dukeshire. She was born in Los Angeles, California on July 4th, 1939. She had an older sister, Phyllis Caroline, and a younger brother, Alfred Donaldson. Phyllis was a year older and Alfred was three years younger. I've met my Great-Aunt Phyllis several times and she often sends cards or letters. I met Uncle Alfred once, at my grandmother's funeral.



After a few hours of extensive research, I found her birth certificate and those of her brother and sister. It's rather difficult to find any information on genealogy websites without paying for a membership. On ancestor.com, I found reference to Laura and Phyllis in a newspaper called The Mountain Democrat. However, I can't find the article in their archives. It seems to me the article was about a church function. My dad always told me that she was a very religious woman. From what I can tell, Laura spent many of her years in Placerville, California.



Laura was 22 years old when my dad was born. She gave birth to five children: Edward (my dad), Julie, Gary, Craig, and Cindy. My dad and Gary were born in Sacramento, while Julie was born in Monterey.



By the way.. The best times for researching are sundays and the best background music is Augustana's album, All the Stars and Boulevards.


Well, it's well past my bedtime. So I'll continue the quest to know my grandmother another day. :)

Stuck in a rut.

Its true. I'm stuck. I have nothing inspiring to write about.
When I signed up, I had this dream of having hundreds of viewers, and that what I write would have an impact on people.
Instead of picking one topic to blog about, I just "fiddle-farted around."

Now I'm in a rut.

Name: Caitlin
Age: 21 [but 8 at heart]
Occupation: Full-time Student; Part-time Car Hop.
Currently Listening to: "Bend to Squares" By Death Cab for Cutie
Mood: Dejected.
Relationship Status: Single. (And No, I don't have any plans of changing that. Thank you.)

Did I mention that I just watched "Julie and Julia?" Well I did. I feel like if I did some kind of a year-long project, I could find myself. I would know what I like and dislike. And maybe in this process, things would fall together a bit.
I even tried googling "Blog Ideas." Nothing.

I need help.

A Few...

Of my favorite things.

A band I just discovered. [The Starting Line]

I love "Best of Me."

And flats. I love flats. This style and color is too cute. I love em with skinny jeans. But only denim, not those crazy colors Rue 21 sells.

I'm really loving the plaid look.

Doesn't she look cute? I don't think I could pull this together myself. Wishful thinking...

I'm a girly-girl at heart. So I love jewelry like this:

and this:

And I've always loved A Fine Frenzy. Her voice is amazing and her lyrics are inspiring. :]

A few weeks ago, I got a text from a dear friend of mine. It went something like this: "These last few weeks you've had such a smile on your face and your happiness just seems to be radiating from so far within. I don't know what it is, but do not let go of it."
Tonight, at institute, I came across a scripture. It's Mosiah 2:41. It says: "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are recieved into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."
I don't know about you, but the promise of "never-ending happiness" sounds pretty AMAZING to me.

*Correction: I'm going to see the sixth Harry Potter, not the seventh. I guess I just got excited. Oops.

........

So according to Facebook, I am a 1930's girl.

You are strong and determined and have what it takes to get through life's
storms. You are very helpful to those around you-- be it your friends, your
family, or even a neighbor in need. You are a great leader and strong-willed
person, and take challenges as a way to better yourself...But you also have a
deep sense of warmth and nurturing for those you care about. You are
well-rounded and tough because you have to be. You aren't a "diva" but rather a
humble person with admirable character. With more hard-working, quality like
you, this world would be a much better place. By being able to turn a little
into a lot, you know how to make life enjoyable even if it's just through the
little things.

I think that fits. :)

{Ideas..}

When it comes to what I wear, eat, listen to, who I hang out with, and what I watch on TV, I'm a pretty opinionated person. I know what I want. I'm extremely picky.



Lately, I've decided that I want to redo my room. Its become quite cramped. I'm working on throwing out the things I don't need and giving away the things I don't want.



My mind changes every other day on what I want my room to look like. I want something that will make it seem bigger. Maybe some cute storage bins. But I also want it to represent my ideas, my thoughts, and my personality. That's where I'm at a loss.



Please, throw out any design ideas you guys come across. I need some ideas. I already have most of my furniture, so I'm need color schemes and general decorations. I say "most" because I'm still looking for a desk that I like. I want to figure out the colors and designs before I blow some cash on a desk that might not work.



Please?

Thank you.



On to other things.



In the boy situation, things have changed a lot since I was last on here. I'm not gonna say what's going on, because I don't want to jinx a good thing. Honestly, I don't really know what's going on, and I probably won't for the next two years.



In the friend situation, things have been a little strained lately. My heart says one thing and my head says another. Above boy has been helping out a lot. He gives great advice. In fact, one of his last texts what particularly insipiring. Its said,

Don't stand in unholy places. You see, anger is of the devil, and those who
bring anger and hate to others without caring about it are more of the devil
than of the Lord. We all upset people, but those who try not to most of the time
and try to spread love and peace are one who care and love the Lord.

So for the moment I'm just going to let things rolls off, leave it in the Lord's hands. I know that everything happens for a reason and I trust him with my whole heart.



That said, I'll tell you about my latest and newest goal.



I've never been a big Harry Potter fan. I told the kids that I'd take them each to dinner and a movie for their birthday. Well Tyler picked the 7th Harry Potter. I have seen a handful of the movies, but they never really sunk in. So I decided to read them. I read the first few when I was younger but lost interest. So I picked up at the fourth book. I have had my nost buried in a book for the past two weeks. But I finally finished tonight. And I loved the ending. I was pretty upset for a bit, although. I'd elaborate but I don't want to ruin the ending.

My newest goal is that I want to read the Book of Mormon again before I start school. I've realized that when I take the time to do this, my life is blessed in some times unseen ways.

On that note, I want to leave you with a scripture:

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but
not in dispair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not
destroyed.

-- 2 Corinthians 4:8-9