I'm a big girl now; see my big girl shoes.

Gorgeous brunette. Amazing smile. Loves music. Lyrics. Blogs. Drives when angry. Takes black and white photos. Loves to see movies. Watches Ghost Hunters, One Tree Hill, and Bones. Uses quotes. Reads books [currently Lovely Bones.] Loves Yellow. Writes. Afraid of falling. Giggles when tired. Loud when excited. Loves flying (ironic much?) Believes in fate&&destiny. freedom. choice. happiness. peace. Generally lost. Worst nightmare. Dream come true. Intelligent. Kind. Stubborn. Simple. Complicated. Motherly. Childish. Tough. Beautiful. Sensitive. Responsible. Shallow. Deep. Walking contradiction. Angel. Devil. Mischevious. Lover. Fighter. Trusting. Bitter. Running. Independent. Busy. Patient. Bored. Adored. Original. Caitlin.

"Imagination is everything. It's the preview of life's coming attractions." -Albert Einstein

"They say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." -Andy Warhol

"If you have no intention of loving or being loved, the whole journey is pointless." -Kate Elizabeth Dicamillo

"Fill your paper with the breathing of your heart." -William Wordsworth

"Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win." -Jonathin Kozol

SotD:: Overboard by Ingrid Michaelson.

I took some pictures last week. They turned out lovely. And YOU get to see my gorgeous new coat. :]

I practically stood in this stream to get this shot. :( My jeans got wet.

I'm a silly dancer.

I love that this one is blurry. Completely accidental.

Urban artwork. :]

I read this artical taken from the June 2009 issue of Glamour magazine. Its called "Six Beauty Habits Men Wish You'd Skip." Habit numero dos is padded bras. It says "Sure, men stare at big breasts, but pay close attention and you'll notice we ogle every size." That may be true. I like my boobs how they are, but if I can pay $40 to get a nice bra from Victoria Secret that makes me feel good about myself, I'm gonna do it.

Habit number three was "Living in High Heels." Basically the same rules apply. Guys don't care how tall you are. Frankly, I'm a little insulted by this article. Jake (some real, live single guy from NYC) seems to think that the way we dress is just to impress some guy. HAHA. I feel the need to point out that he's single. Let me set ya straight, Jake. Girls don't dress to impress guys. They dress to impress other women. I feel hot in padded bras and high heels. Confident. Isn't that the sexiest thing of them all? Its not about how tall you are or how big your boobs are. Its not about hiding the love handles or looking good when you wake up. Its about how you feel about yourself. Vincent Van Gogh once said "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

Because no one decides who I am.

I do.

I'm never gonna make you fall.

{{Keep in mind that I wrote this a while back, so my obsessions have changed.}}

Lately, I've become totally obsessed with 90's rock. I just downloaded a bunch of REM, Sheryl Crow, Eve 6, Third Eye Blind, etc... The music is great, don't get me wrong, but I think its more than that. It reminds me of a time when things were simpler. An age of innocence.

In 1998, I was 10 years old. I had a brand new baby sister. The only thing I worried about was who I was going to play with at recess. The worst injury I had was a skinned knee.

Now things are much more complicated. I worry about things like money and my future. My worst injury consisted of my freshman year of college, a 2,000 mile distance and a broken heart.

Youth really is wasted on the young. When you're young, you don't understand the beauty of it. And you certainly don't appreciate it. But I think we all have that moment of clarity, whether we're 15 or 50. Its that moment where you realize that, even when life is tough and your world is crumbling down around you,

Life is worth it.

You were sent here for a reason. You were meant to interact with these people. You were meant to touch their lives. No one can take that away from you. This is your life.
Live it to the best of your ability.
Cherish every moment.
You'll keep your memories for the remainder of you life.
But live in the moment.
Remember, Tomorrow is today.

"All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow.

Currently, I love::

Wicked Images Photography...
[I ran across their page on facebook, and the photos are amazing.]

Ankle boots.

Fashiontoast

My new coat :]

Etsy

Sudoku

The color RED.

Scrapbooking

BONES.!

Robyn. :]

And its finally beginning to feel like Christmas. So I'm definately loving the Christmas lights at the courthouse. [Pictures will be taken soon. Hopefully.]

{Roadtrippp.}

This is gonna be a busy week for me. :]

Tuesday :: Sister Baker's Baby Shower.
Thursday :: Work
Friday :: DANE COOK. :]  and a long-arse drive to Bentonville.
Saturday :: Hay's dance competition.

So. I'm going to need a road mix for the 3 hour drive. I've already got some Audioslave and The Cure set up, but I need something new.

Ooh, did I mention that I found this guy named Jakob Dylan? He's Bob Dylan's grandson, I believe. His voice is incredible.

I'm all in favor of iTune's free song of the week, but seriously? "I love you so much that its driving me stupid"? My 4 year old nephew could write better lyrics than that. Poor girl.

Basically, I need some suggestions for new music. Thanks, Cat.

Isaac feeds me cake at the Bloch boy's birthday bash.

Me, Ben, and Isaac.

Yeah, they talk about her. She smiles like she's so tough.

"The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days." -One Tree Hill

Day #7

I find it amusing how much people can change. Five years ago, I was the dancer that loved hip-hop music. Now I'm the girl that opposes almost anything mainstream. My taste in music, movies, hobbies and even boys has changed. But, in all honesty, I don't think I've really changed; I think I've found myself, the person I'm supposed to be. Maybe, I've changed for the better.

I like this Caitlin much better.

I used to love romantic comedies. Now I like things with a little more meaning. I want to watch something that teaches a lesson. Like "Charlie Bartlett"; it teaches that there's more to life than popularity. How you use that popularity, for example. Life is about helping others.

And music... That's taken a complete 180. When I was little, I was obsessed with '90s country music, like Winona Judd and Patty Loveless. Then I meandered into teenagedom. I became one of those girls that hung out in the mall and listened to Top 40 songs. And I was completely okay with that because it was all I had known. It was what my friends did.

But then I went to college. I started to think for myself. I dated Jaron and he introduced me to Something Corporate and other punk rock bands. But more than that, he introduced me to a way of life. Something different. And it was exactly what I needed. I was finally realizing who I am supposed to be. I realized that there was more to life than Glen Rose, Arkansas. Just because this was how things always were doesn't mean this is how they're supposed to be. People change. Change is inevitable. When I step outside each morning, I decided who I am and who I want to be and no one can tell me otherwise. I don't want to be anything other than me.

Let's do a tiny recap:
Day #1 - Anything by Taylor Swift
Day #2 - Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"
Day #3 - Matchbox 20's "Argue" and "3 AM."
Day #4 - The Beetle's "Eleanor Rigby"
Day #5 - Kate Voelege's "Chicago"
Day #6 - Fall Out Boy's "Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of this Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued"
Day #7    ...

SotD:: "Paper Bag" by Anna Nalick.

I love this picture.
It reminds me of my Shaina.
And it has somehow became the theme in my life.

"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?"

Day #6

Sorry I've been a little AWOL lately. This weekend's been crazy stressful insanity! I played mom while my parents were out of town. Throw in a high school football game, 4 siblings, dance competition, a hogs game, and a day in Russellville, and you get an instant stressful Caitlin. So not much time to write about songs. But a sick day in bed did give me plenty of material so I'm backed up. Hope you enjoy the next few days. :)

SotD:  Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued

Fall Out Boy has exactly what a punk-rock band calls for: the dark clothes, eyeliner, sometimes spiky hair and the catchy tunes. One of my favorite parts of this song is that it’s a PERFECT summer song. Like “Argue,” it needs to be played with the windows down, sun on my skin, and wind in my hair. Having the volume turned up as loud as possible and screaming the words also helps. But my absolute favorite part is listening to it in my car with [[LITTLE SISTER]] then walking around target singing it together. Even if I’m sick and feel like crap and its cold outside. That doesn’t matter. When we’re together, there’s nothing else I want to do. I don’t think about what papers I should be writing or how much money I just spent. All I want to do is have fun. I just revel in being with her. I bask in that feeling. You know that feeling? The one where everything is right in the world. That’s the feeling I get. The world could be crashing down around us and it wouldn’t matter. That’s what love is. It's more than just being related. It’s the fact that you enjoy being with them even if you have to use an excuse like buying a garment bag, and you end up getting in trouble for it because you called in sick and you run into your manager’s boyfriend. Oops. But that doesn’t matter, because I was hanging out with Little Sister, and I had fun. Is there anything wrong with that?

Blink and you miss it...

Sometimes, I like to do something daring. I enjoy spontaneity. The definition of spontaneous is:

Something said, done, etc, of one's free will, without pressure from others. Natural, not forced.

 Living without pressure, being allowed to do what I want is exactly what I need.

Life is very short. It passes in the blink of an eye. Doing things that are pressured or forced seems ridiculous. Isn't living life worth taking the risks? If you let the opportunities pass you by, what are you left with? Old age and a regret for the things you didn't do? What's the point of that? My little sister is 12 years old. She has a bucket list, a list of things she wants to do before she kicks the bucket. This summer, she completed one item by learning how to wakeboard. She's one of the most fearless people I know. And, she's only 12.

But sometimes, life deals you a crappy hand. You take the risks and they don't pay off. It sucks. Believe me, I know. But you have to bounce back, no matter how much it hurts. If you don't, you're left with an empty spot in your heart and a complacent feeling.

Day #5

So, that brings me to my SotD (Song of the Day)...

"Chicago"

by Kate Voelege.

Check Out Kate's Website.

We're all pretty bizzare... Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.

Day #4

A little after midnight, Eleanor takes off her makeup, her mask. She crawls under the sheets and turns on her ipod. She rolls over and sees the empty spot next to her. Tears well up in her eyes. She begins to think the pain in her chest will never go away. People always leave and Eleanor is left behind. She feels comfort in the music, lets in suck her in and drown out her thoughts. She wonders what it's for. Where does she belong? She fidgets with the bottle of little white pills and prays for something more. She prays for sleep, for the relief of unconsciousness, if only to pass the time and ease her heartache. But, is there something more? She tries to convince herself that there is. She puts the bottle back in her nightstand drawer. As she finally succumbs to sleep, she hears the final notes of the song on her ipod and sheds once last tear.

"All the lonely people, where do they all belong?"

Yeah, Let's celebrate mediocrity!

Day #3

Matchbox 20's songs are full of catchy music, yet they say exactly what we can't. My favorites have to be "Argue" and "3 A.M." both on the "Yourself or Someone Like You" album. "Argue" has a very upbeat tune. I like to listen to it when driving around with the windows down, the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair. "I know, but I still believe in ignorance as my best defense."

"3 a.m." might be one of their most popular songs. The lyrics are heart shattering. "And in her color portrait world she believes that she's got it all. She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to." To me, it represents the failing of your dreams, the realization that you don't live in a color portrait world. And that is something we can all relate to.

It's not so easy getting back into the ring, especially with the one that knocked you out in the first place.

I just saw a cop giving a ticket to a guy parked in a handicapped spot. Of course, he didn't have any tags. People should quit being so lazy and leave the spaces for people who actually need them. Just thought I would put that out there.

....

Flashback to 2005. It was a year of GREAT music. But, for one girl, it was a year of love...

February 2005. She was an awkward mess of a barely seventeen year old girl. There was once boy that occupied her thoughts. She has known him forever, and loved him even longer. She had high expectations as she walked through the cascade of crete paper. If there was ever magic at a high school dance, it was here. Anticipation and excitement curled in her stomach as she joined her friends. Their friends.
They danced all night, always flirting. He even did a silly chair-dance that was so ridiculus, she still giggles about it. And at the end of the night, with Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" blaring through the speakers, they slowly revolved in a small circle. After singing "Lying close to you feeling your heart beating, and I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing," he leaned his head down and gently pressed his lips to hers. It was the prefect ending to a great night, and I'll remember in for the rest of my life.

I don't automatically think of that song with I think about great music. When I think of happier times, it's one of the first to pop into my head. When I hear that song, my mind wanders back to that night, an age of innocence, when dreams really did come true...

As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone. --Lucas Scott (One Tree Hill)

"Don't resist me, Mama. It's BOOGIE TIME!"

Today, I was driving down the road, trying not to think. So, of course, I was thinking. For the first time in a while, I was silent. I just listened to the song that was playing (which was the accoustic version of "Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event. Amazing) and thought about what the music was telling me. I let the notes swarm around my head.

Music has the power to make you cry or jump for joy, lift you up or tear you down, make or break you. But do people know what it means to me? Sure, my best friends know how neccessary it is to my sanity, but what about the average Joe-Schmoe? I'm not too sure.

A friend of mine (let's call her Sally) once told me that I have awesome taste in music. She said that I always find the most obscure bands with the most amazing songs.

So, for the blogging world, I'm going to educate you in music. (I'm not saying your music is crappy, I SWEAR. But I wanna show you what I like.) I'm going to introduce you to a song and tell you my feelings about it. I want people to know what it means to me. But mostly, I want people to figure out what it means to them.

Day #1

Taylor Swift. I like almost anything by her. I was talking with a co-worker the other day. She was saying that she didn't know why everyone likes her and that Ms. Swift isn't that good of a singer. I informed her that it wasn't about her singing ability; its about the catching songs. And most everyone can relate to them. We've all broken up with a crappy boy/girlfriend. We've fallen for the one that looks right through us. But mostly, she's a very down-to-earth person. She doesn't act like all the other stars that refuse to talk to fans. She stays after her shows just to sign autographs. My mom was telling me about a time when she bought pizza for all her fans. That's why people like her. It has nothing to do with her singing ability. It has everything to do with lyrics like these:

"Wake up and smell the break-up, fix my heart, put on my make-up, another mess I
didn't plan"