So Long, '09.

For the first time in a while, I'm feeling peace.

I've come so far this year. I've been through tremendous ups and downs. And finally, I'm feeling that things are falling into place. There's the possibility of a new job, a new apartment, a new boy. According to my horoscope [[psshhh..]] 2010 is my year. We'll see...

With Me:: Sum 41

...And when you think it never happens, it happens.

Happiness is more related to the simple things in life. -[Uncle] Wally Goddard

"Come Alive" by the Foo Fighters

George Bernard Shaw said, "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."

I think what Shaw was trying to say is that its a tragedy to gain your heart's desire and realize that its not enough. It may be that boy, the one you know you'd be happy with, or maybe its a college, the one you've wanted to attend since you were little. It may even be the career path, the one you thought you wanted. Suppose you got all these things. What would happen if, once you had them, they turned out to be nothing like you expected?

In the past year, I wanted things. I wanted to date this boy. He was a boy from my past. We had dated before. And when our second (or third, or fourth...) chance came around, I took it. But I wasn't happy. He didn't make me happy. That realization broke my heart.

[The one on the left, licking my face.]

I was pursuing a degree in Finance at UALR. Somewhere in the middle of my accounting class, I realized that I had no desire to do this for the rest of my life. Sure, I'm a little lost and that scares me. I was always the "girl with a plan." Now I'm planless and I think I'm okay with that. Its not what you do that matters, its how much you enjoy doing it.

When it comes down to it, I'd rather gain my heart's desire and realize it's not enough, than to never have it at all. Because I'd be learning about myself. I wouldn't sit back and wonder "what if." Everytime I realize what I don't want, I'm one step closer to realizing what I do want.

SotD:: When it Comes by Tyler Hilton

Shaw also said, "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

I'm gonna need a flashier tie.

"You pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering." - The Music Man

There comes a time in your life, where you have to make the BIG decision: a decision that will change your life. You may be in high school, or college. You may be in an entry-level position, or the CEO of a Fortune-500 company. Maybe you're a single twentysomething, or maybe a new mother.

But each of us have to face the music.

You have to make the tough decision between who you've always been and making your dreams come true. You must face the denial in your eyes and know that the person you are isn't the best self you can be.
Its hard. And scary. I wouldn't dare say otherwise. But when you look back on your life, 20 years later, will you regret the choices you didn't make? Will you regret leting the opportunities pass? Or will you seize the opportunities and make your dreams come true? I sincerely hope you choose the latter. I hope that your desire for change out weights the fear in your head. I hope you allow yourself to fulfill your potential.

Carpe diem.

As for myself, I plan on doing what makes me happy. That's what life is all about. I'm don't trying to satisfy others. I'm doing things my way. Carpe diem.



Making my dreams come true.


"There comes a time with the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin

SotD:: "Believe" by The Bravery

One of my favorite songs. Becoming on of my favorite bands. Definately worth the 4 minutes it takes to watch the video. Just do it.

I'm a big girl now; see my big girl shoes.

Gorgeous brunette. Amazing smile. Loves music. Lyrics. Blogs. Drives when angry. Takes black and white photos. Loves to see movies. Watches Ghost Hunters, One Tree Hill, and Bones. Uses quotes. Reads books [currently Lovely Bones.] Loves Yellow. Writes. Afraid of falling. Giggles when tired. Loud when excited. Loves flying (ironic much?) Believes in fate&&destiny. freedom. choice. happiness. peace. Generally lost. Worst nightmare. Dream come true. Intelligent. Kind. Stubborn. Simple. Complicated. Motherly. Childish. Tough. Beautiful. Sensitive. Responsible. Shallow. Deep. Walking contradiction. Angel. Devil. Mischevious. Lover. Fighter. Trusting. Bitter. Running. Independent. Busy. Patient. Bored. Adored. Original. Caitlin.

"Imagination is everything. It's the preview of life's coming attractions." -Albert Einstein

"They say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." -Andy Warhol

"If you have no intention of loving or being loved, the whole journey is pointless." -Kate Elizabeth Dicamillo

"Fill your paper with the breathing of your heart." -William Wordsworth

"Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win." -Jonathin Kozol

SotD:: Overboard by Ingrid Michaelson.

I took some pictures last week. They turned out lovely. And YOU get to see my gorgeous new coat. :]

I practically stood in this stream to get this shot. :( My jeans got wet.

I'm a silly dancer.

I love that this one is blurry. Completely accidental.

Urban artwork. :]

I read this artical taken from the June 2009 issue of Glamour magazine. Its called "Six Beauty Habits Men Wish You'd Skip." Habit numero dos is padded bras. It says "Sure, men stare at big breasts, but pay close attention and you'll notice we ogle every size." That may be true. I like my boobs how they are, but if I can pay $40 to get a nice bra from Victoria Secret that makes me feel good about myself, I'm gonna do it.

Habit number three was "Living in High Heels." Basically the same rules apply. Guys don't care how tall you are. Frankly, I'm a little insulted by this article. Jake (some real, live single guy from NYC) seems to think that the way we dress is just to impress some guy. HAHA. I feel the need to point out that he's single. Let me set ya straight, Jake. Girls don't dress to impress guys. They dress to impress other women. I feel hot in padded bras and high heels. Confident. Isn't that the sexiest thing of them all? Its not about how tall you are or how big your boobs are. Its not about hiding the love handles or looking good when you wake up. Its about how you feel about yourself. Vincent Van Gogh once said "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

Because no one decides who I am.

I do.

I'm never gonna make you fall.

{{Keep in mind that I wrote this a while back, so my obsessions have changed.}}

Lately, I've become totally obsessed with 90's rock. I just downloaded a bunch of REM, Sheryl Crow, Eve 6, Third Eye Blind, etc... The music is great, don't get me wrong, but I think its more than that. It reminds me of a time when things were simpler. An age of innocence.

In 1998, I was 10 years old. I had a brand new baby sister. The only thing I worried about was who I was going to play with at recess. The worst injury I had was a skinned knee.

Now things are much more complicated. I worry about things like money and my future. My worst injury consisted of my freshman year of college, a 2,000 mile distance and a broken heart.

Youth really is wasted on the young. When you're young, you don't understand the beauty of it. And you certainly don't appreciate it. But I think we all have that moment of clarity, whether we're 15 or 50. Its that moment where you realize that, even when life is tough and your world is crumbling down around you,

Life is worth it.

You were sent here for a reason. You were meant to interact with these people. You were meant to touch their lives. No one can take that away from you. This is your life.
Live it to the best of your ability.
Cherish every moment.
You'll keep your memories for the remainder of you life.
But live in the moment.
Remember, Tomorrow is today.

"All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow.

Currently, I love::

Wicked Images Photography...
[I ran across their page on facebook, and the photos are amazing.]

Ankle boots.

Fashiontoast

My new coat :]

Etsy

Sudoku

The color RED.

Scrapbooking

BONES.!

Robyn. :]

And its finally beginning to feel like Christmas. So I'm definately loving the Christmas lights at the courthouse. [Pictures will be taken soon. Hopefully.]